I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
