new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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