i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
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we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
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The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
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