I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize