Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
