found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
