thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Christians are straight up FREAKS
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
