Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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