Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
