Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
