Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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