can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night