its not stalking. its research.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask