i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
and technically it was a rebound
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Boobs speak an international language.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..