Can i not drive my cunt home
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Randomize
