you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
as a side note pls kill me
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
