What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
