What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Randomize