just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
