If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
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