I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
