Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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