Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Randomize
