then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize