He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
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i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
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Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Randomize