He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize
