My room smells like vodka and shame
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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