Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
