Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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