you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
