we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I want to be your penis for a week.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
