I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Randomize
