I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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