What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
