If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize