Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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