So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
