someone threw a dead crab at me
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Randomize