i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
