is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
