No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
