I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
