last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
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we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
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She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I believe in your delicious
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
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