my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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