i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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