So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
