I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
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