2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
