You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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