Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
