Is it normal to miss your booty call?
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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