just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
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