but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
