he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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