don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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