I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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