Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
