I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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