I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
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I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
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I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
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