Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
im having a threesome with these popsicles
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
