Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
