Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
