he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Lo siento on account of my penis...
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