Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
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